The storyline is well developed and full of detail and the art is just astounding. I've never seen a VN with such quality till now. This game is truly a gem, I cannot wait for future updates!
Hey！I've played the game and I have to say that every aspect of this game is truly amazing, I'd love for this game to be finished instead of being abandoned halfway through and hopefully see an android version in the future :)
This art is so detailed and the lore is so rich. The self-awareness and consideration to include tooltips instead of having the player access an in-game encyclopedia or to leave them to their own devices once information has already been conveyed is so refreshing! So to speak, I “don’t even go here” (typically), if you understand my meaning, but this work is impressive and I’m glad I checked out the demo. I hope this project and any others you may undertake are appreciated. Thanks for sharing!
Fantastic start! Can't wait to see more. If I can offer some minor feedback, I found the music and sound settings to be a bit too low in volume, despite having them turned all the way up in the options.
Thanks for giving Moontouched a go! Hmm, they're fairly loud on my settings when I crank it up. Could it be you have custom audio mixer values? Either way, I'll look into it!
Reading this VN has fucked up my standards ten times over. I just see that each time I play another one, I would end up comparing it to THIS LIKE-
GOD the Visuals are so beautiful, the worldbuilding is interesting, and each character feels "full" - not one dimensional -. This VN is hands-down my favorite and I am EXTREMELY excited to see how it would play out.
This VN has hands down some of the most gorgeous and intricate visuals I've ever seen. Not only is the artwork of some of the highest quality you can get, but it's also animated in certain parts!? To see such high-level craftsmanship in a VN is a pleasant rarity, but to this extent is something truly special.
The story is also something to behold. It's clear as day that a lot of care and planning went into making the world and characters of Moontouched. Every character feels unique and alive, with not a single character slowing down or dragging the story to any extent. Kirik is easily my favorite, such a good boy.
Even if this is just a short demo, I was blown away with how simply astonishing this VN is. Hats off, 10/10. I'm on the edge of my seat for future releases!
OMG even the Demo is so good and the story is much complex but i like it full of lore, And the expressions for all character i say is very good, and the animation on the end of the demo, hell that was fire and i hope in the future we have that cg animation again that was very cooooool.
Beside that Anoam expression is remind me to william from TSR and somehow for the first time i see him idk he look cool and sweet, i hope this game can go to final chapter and the quality of the game become more good
(srry if my english bad because english is not my main language)
Amazing art and world building. Love all of the facial expressions and body language. The animated cut scene to the VN title at the end is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing your talent with us.
Absolutely amazing! What a great start! Professional quality and the most beautiful artworks I have ever seen in FVN. (Kirik is so gorgeous!) Best of luck! :D
Dude I have to say, this is one of the most beautifully drawn and written vn i've seen so far, the world building is fantastic and so easy to digest despite being so heavy in lore and information, the way the characters talk and interact with each others is so natural and alive its been a blast to read, and the mc you gave us is just perfect in the way he's not a blank canvas at all, its a breath of fresh air for the usual transparent and "lifeless" mcs I've seen so far, he has depth and character which I just love!
I can't wait to see more of your fantastic work and the lore you have in stock for us, especially when its heavily inspired by celtic lore in terms of customs and spiritualism!
I tought that theory was all about over feminizing men (cuz a delicate man can still look manly and use a GUN) and stuff, relax, we love ourselves and love what we are, men, simply men
sooo, uuuh i don't know how to say this, it's just gorgeous, i think i never seen something so gorgeous on the visual department this is setting new and higher standard jesus christ! also i like the hovering tooltip on "particular words" it makes the reading way smoother and doesnt require you to remember everything at least, the story so far seems interesting i surely see potential but its still too early to tell something else but i'm sure as hell keeping my eye on this.
this is easily the most gorgeous fvn i have every seen and is simply amazing. like, this is already all ive ever wanted in a furry vn. also this is how you do wolves in a fvn!
as soon as i saw the animation style and the backgrounds, i immediately thought of the point and click adventure games i play (that usually end up having hidden object puzzles) like nightmare realm.
and now i have to make a moontouched version of myself XD
This is the fastest I rated a game because I am so sure of what I have experienced. 5/5 stars.
The visuals are the best in any VN I have seen so far! Nothing comes close! An EXCELLENT JOB!!!
The writing is also top notch. It matches the quality of the visuals. I love the exposition! We barely started and I already feel part of that world!
If there is anything to criticize negatively on, it might be the slight overuse of descriptiveness; Lyrically, the extra clause spent describing some things (eg smell of a damp fire) creates a bump in the reading rhythm.
It's not to say you have Purple Prose or poor execution of Thisness, The added descriptions does serve a higher purpose with immersions and shouldn't be cut, but when I compare it to this:
The scene opens to wind whipping flurries of fresh snow in a dark, kinetic, forest, with the first text that reads "When brought to the eroding edge, most cower in awe of its expanse. Brought to their knees by its pinning and left to flee back to the surface, where the hunger is but a whisper".
When I imagine wind, the air as it brushes snow, and sounds of bending and creaking wood, I hear it in the words of the opening scene. Soft plosive sounds and gentle cracking and creaking...
"when brought... cower... knees... pinning... left to flee... back.... surface, where hunger.... whisper" You can see what I mean by the soft plosives resembling the sound of wind, and even creaking wood with the word "pinning" and its long N sound.
I have no idea if it was intentional or not, but I tip my hat to you!
You should use sound and lyrical devices more often, especially when ruining the rhythm to describing certain things with the extra clause. Your writer has the talent for it, I am sure. And even then... You don't have to listen to me. It's still wonderful work regardless of my nitpickiness.
Let's see what else... I've noticed you put some good flaws and are already setting up multiple conflicts already. I'm sure we're ready to see what happens with the monsters, if the MC is ready, but I am very glad Anoam is making a journey to face his fears. I can see how he coddles the MC a bit too much eg lending the MC his own clothes to warm up. Like I said before, your exposition of showing and not telling is remarkable and I am already invested in his growth.
The tooltip regarding lore/worldbuilding is also neat, even if others may think it ruins the exposition. It is better than leaving us confused. It certainly cleared a lot up when meeting the Matriarch and our friend Ki. Please don't remove it or feel the need to add more info, it tells us just enough without ruining the mystery. Thank you for coding it in!!!
Some of the text is too small though, and I have a large monitor... Mind taking another look at that one scene?
Thank you for such a thoughtful review and for the constructive feedback. Most of my writing has been poetry, so adapting to writing novel has been a fun challenge. Thank you for the suggestions, I'll take them to heart! My editor is exceptionally skilled haha If you're referring to the size of the text as the MC describes a specific vine, that was intended to be the text droning out and the MC not really playing close attention to it!
I had a feeling! Poetry is my main calling as well. You're doing everything right, so don't sweat it! (I just realized you're a one-man studio after writing my previous comment. I am so impressed! And a little ashamed to dare criticize? But we only have 1 life, and I am sure none of us want to live with regrets, so I'll speak my mind XD).
There are a lot of guidelines out there to help people write well, some of which are incompatible with each other, so you have to take any and all advice you hear with a grain of salt. I've a foundation with poetry which helps me when I construct my own fiction writing.
I try to score myself on cadence, rhythm, syllable stresses, assonance/consonance, imagery, thisness, subtext, exposition, foreshadowing...etc Some attributes are poetic, some are for a satisfying 2nd reading. If a sentence doesn't help with my story I just rip it out and write something that will. Unfortunately a perfect score is impossible; you have to just deal with lowering the quality of one or more of these attributes to raise the others.
I will show you what I meant in my previous comment about some descriptions.
"I happily chew at the bread, the smoke of the now-doused fire at the heart of our little encampment fluttering between us".
Smoke, now-doused. -- Really great use of assonance. It just glides right off the tongue and is very easy and pleasant to read.
Imagery is really nice, and I think the varied length of the words also add rustic charm.
The rhythm of that sentence is off though, like a palpitating heart. It was the first thing that I could point to and criticize, and it came after quite a while of reading perfection. Try tapping your finger for all the syllables you read and speak the capitalized syllables a little louder, they will be the stressed ones:
"to BE or NOT to BE, that IS the QUESTion"
"I chew on the crust of the bread as the smoke from the doused fire floats in the chill of our quiet camp".
"I CHEW on the CRUST of the BREAD as the SMOKE from the DOUSED FIRE FLOATS in the CHILL of our QUIET CAMP".
Imagery remains, we add a detail about the bread (though it might even be moldy if they've been walking for weeks XD) we get some consonance that also mimics the sound of crunching on a crust of bread. We keep your beautiful assonance while adding a little more to it.
I doubt there is any more we can do to spruce that sentence up. But like I said, we lose some things... All these words are short, no more than 6 letters.... A variety of length can go a long way in keeping things interesting for the eyes and mind. This version is like a lullaby. Pleasant to the ear, but might put the readers to sleep if that's all you give them. And I am sure you already have an eager audience waiting impatiently for the next build... You can't be nitpicky with absolutely everything. So far these out-of-rhythm sentences are few and far between. Otherwise everything is just -MUAH, perfection!!!
I know the smaller font size it was intended, but it is just a little too small. Had to lean in to read it. If we're talking about breaking the 4th wall, this makes us pay more attention rather than less. I think reducing the transparency might be a better option, right? Just a thought.
I wish I had a time machine to see this game in full. This is exactly the set & setting I would love to explore. So carefully crafted.
Sometimes I wonder, had it not been the inquisition, would we still have traditions similar to the world you've shared. yes i just want to wrestle hot dudes under the moon without paying $10k for ayahuasca trip
I would love to be able to snap my fingers and see the project finished up, it would be wild to see. I definitely like to imagine a world with a more unashamed sense of sexuality.
(As response to patreon post) - Patreon is probably your safer bet, it's a true and tested method for FVNs. Kickstarters are mostly used to fund copium like.. indie mmos that never get released. 20y old furries won't fund FVNs they will see in 5 years.. maybe. That's for desperate old school gamers and mmorpgs lol.
I think at best you could attempt to do a small kickstarter to secure funds for the first few months of the development.. Setting a reachable goal like 3000$ maybe.. But that would look bad if it fails so why not do a patreon goal instead? If you reach 1500$ on patreon, you'll.. Do something! Like release this year, idk
The animated CGs are stunning with their fluffy tails flapping behind them and their ears moving adding so much life to the story. Also, the postures and the fact that when you say they remove their clothes, they really remove them on the CG, that's impressive, really.
The backgrounds are absolutely gorgeous, so realistic even in drawing and the color palettes are so comforting, very nuanced and alive. It seems like we are ourselves roaming the woods, and we were witnessing the beauty of nature. The nature sounds in the background add to that feeling. That's really appeasing.
The writing is good, even if I spotted a few typos, but nothing too bad. The only issue I have is with the size of the font that is too small and so hard to read on a PC, but worse is the size of the Tooltip that is even smaller, so I have to strain my eyes to read so that's really uncomfortable and doesn't really motivate to read hours upon hours like this.
At first, I was quite disappointed that the demo didn't include the other romance-able characters bur fortunately, a presentation of them was offered at the end of the demo, which I am grateful for because I was so eager to meet them.
So we have 5 male wolves from different clans :
- Anoam : The Forsaken, our mentor and savior sort of, loyal, protective and a bit secretive too.
- Kirik : Friend and lover, a pup like us, a "brother" or playmate and probably our first sexual partner, a recently Moontouched. He's literally the most beautiful wolf I have ever seen with his "markings" on his forehead and his arms and chest.
- Veolf : Tribute of Storms said to be "cocky and lighthearted while at rest, loyal and ruthless when called upon". Well, he has the type of personality I am totally crazy about, so he will definitely be my first choice. Plus he has a piercing, how cool is that! A shame he isn't as beautiful as Kirik in wolf form...
- Raithan : Tribute of Tides, too kind and tasteless for my liking according to his personality description, but to each their own like they say.
- Noakai : Tribute of Flames, he's all ferocity and anger so a hard shell to crack but can be promising...
All in all, I really enjoyed that demo, I wished for more because the lore is still a bit vague with all the clans and their history, but that's off to an excellent start. And the visuals are a wonder with sometimes first person or third-person POV depicted on the CGs and the angles are sometimes very fascinating, I quite enjoyed that part.
Thank you so much for sharing this new game with us, I wish with all my heart that it will be achieved. And big up to the one who drew the landscapes and the animated wolves! Stunning!
Thank you for such a robust review! I appreciate you giving a glimpse of the main 5 lads here for people to check out. I'm really glad you enjoyed your time with it Talyndra. Awooo
Visually: Stunning and awe inspiring Writing: Well done Characterization: Still too early to tell, but so far each character has individuality Effects: tastefully done, adding wow factors to already master-work CGs... Could use a bit more variation in the effects, otherwise well placed
This seems to be the kind of VN that smashes through and will catch everyone's attention, even if personal tastes and what not may not align with the work. I have a feeling as this develops, it is going to be a talking point and reference for a lot of new VNs to come out in the future
9.5/10 (super impressive since its only a short demo) it is clear a lot of love was put into this VN
Thanks for the thoughtful review ZenerDeer, covered all the basics. I'm curious about what you mean by "more variation in effects", if you feel like sharing more!
Being that this is a first build, and that I am sure you are still working with the effects and such, I did not mean what I said in a bad way at all! (just making sure what I've said and what I am saying isn't coming from a mean critique point <3)
The effects that you have used so far have almost solely been the "ripple/ water droplet" effect with some minor variations such as a "sparkle glow" side effect added. Which are really well place and very powerful in their own right! But what I meant by "more variation in effects" was using a different main effect:
For example; and while it is just a suggestion feel free to ignore or steal from me,, when the fox appears, and the ripple effect shows the woman standing next to the fox, perhaps instead of a ripple, a light-ray transition starting from from the top "blinding" the viewer before dimming and revealing the woman, or perhaps because its in a forest, a leaf-gust transition (or even dirt, as POV is the MC on the ground... so his exhale could possibly disturb the dirt) where the gust causes the POV to lose sight for a moment because of leaves or because of a blink... Or even a ghostly apparition where the woman melds into the scene with ethereal styling...
I do not know the program that you use to create your transitions, and I am but a beginner with art in general myself, so my ideas come from what some of my friends have done with personal (non-furry) projects... So I am unaware of your technical skill with your programs, their limitations, and your experience/knowledge with all of the above. I do however hope this cleared up my comment, and was helpful in one-way or another
Also: I would like to apologize for the late reply, I have been attending the DENFUR con, and haven't been checking itch T.T (and because I feel I need to, I would like to re-iterate that my comments/critique/suggestions are coming with the hope of being helpful, and not meant to be interpreted in a negative way! <3)
Frankly incredible I didn't expect to fall and discover a VN as animated and detailed as possible it's incredible I didn't expect that especially the sprites the animation of the characters/environment which are fluid and the menu which is animated and stylized with a background that is beautiful and the writing was really good you are a real writer the characters nothing to say Moontouched is the most detailed and animated VN of all the VNs combining world building this is the VN the most unique thing I've ever seen it was a great experience for a demo
I can't wait to discover more in this world, it's really promising
The art is incredible, and so far the writing is very very good. I can't wait to see where this goes and I will definitely join the Patreon when funds allow!
Here after playing through the demo. Blown away by the worldbuilding that you've done so far, it feels incredibly fleshed out, and also by the amount of detail and general quality that everything has in general, from the writing to the animations/sprites etc...
Top dog marks across the board! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I’m absolutely BLOWN AWAY by the insane amount of detail and work put into every aspect of this VN! 😁
The writing is really poetic and extremely well done. I’m a huge fan of using keywords to set up emotions or themes, and the way xou’ve written this story is absolutely phenomenal 😌
I’d also like to applaud how well xou’ve explained the lore. In no way do the many new words or phrases become confusing, which in itself is a major achievement 🙂
The art is FANTASTIC, the interface amazing, and the pacing so freaking well done (even though we’ve barely touched the surface) 😋
Superb work. Seriously. I can easily see this project taking the top spot as my all-time favourite VN 😁
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The storyline is well developed and full of detail and the art is just astounding. I've never seen a VN with such quality till now. This game is truly a gem, I cannot wait for future updates!
Thanks friend, I'm looking forward to the next update as well
Hey！I've played the game and I have to say that every aspect of this game is truly amazing, I'd love for this game to be finished instead of being abandoned halfway through and hopefully see an android version in the future :)
I won't be abandoning it, no worries there. Moontouched means a lot to me!
Glad to hear it, I will support you on patreon :)
This art is so detailed and the lore is so rich. The self-awareness and consideration to include tooltips instead of having the player access an in-game encyclopedia or to leave them to their own devices once information has already been conveyed is so refreshing! So to speak, I “don’t even go here” (typically), if you understand my meaning, but this work is impressive and I’m glad I checked out the demo. I hope this project and any others you may undertake are appreciated. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for such a kind review, I'm honored that you took the chance on Moontouched even if it's not your normal flavor of tea :)
Have you considered supporting more languages for this game? Such as Chinese.
I have, still in consideration!
Fantastic start! Can't wait to see more. If I can offer some minor feedback, I found the music and sound settings to be a bit too low in volume, despite having them turned all the way up in the options.
Thanks for giving Moontouched a go! Hmm, they're fairly loud on my settings when I crank it up. Could it be you have custom audio mixer values? Either way, I'll look into it!
You know what, my audio mixer was exactly what was causing the problem. Sorry for the confusion!
No problem at all! Glad it got resolved for ya
will it be released for linux? i'd like to play this on my steam deck hehe
Linux builds are in playtesting right now
okay, thank you!
Reading this VN has fucked up my standards ten times over. I just see that each time I play another one, I would end up comparing it to THIS LIKE-
GOD the Visuals are so beautiful, the worldbuilding is interesting, and each character feels "full" - not one dimensional -. This VN is hands-down my favorite and I am EXTREMELY excited to see how it would play out.
Haha makes me happy to hear you enjoyed the art and story so far. Much more to come
Oh my god. Where to begin???
This VN has hands down some of the most gorgeous and intricate visuals I've ever seen. Not only is the artwork of some of the highest quality you can get, but it's also animated in certain parts!? To see such high-level craftsmanship in a VN is a pleasant rarity, but to this extent is something truly special.
The story is also something to behold. It's clear as day that a lot of care and planning went into making the world and characters of Moontouched. Every character feels unique and alive, with not a single character slowing down or dragging the story to any extent. Kirik is easily my favorite, such a good boy.
Even if this is just a short demo, I was blown away with how simply astonishing this VN is. Hats off, 10/10. I'm on the edge of my seat for future releases!
Thank you for the review horchata! Kirik is indeed a good boy :)
If i'm gonna read another VN that is not as good as this, i'm not interested lol
doh, they've all got their strengths and charms!
Will there be an Android or IOs version? Just curious because I don't currently have a windows or MacOS😭 pls do make one of those if you can :)))
ios has a good renpy emulator called “spark”. Android has bunch of those too, probably.
Workin on an Android build now!
OMG I'm so excited tysm, best author ever>33
Dude I was looking for vns to read that I haven't already and the way I screamed when I saw this, I appreciate you sm author ❤️
hah I appreciate you too reader, thanks for giving it a go!
OMG even the Demo is so good and the story is much complex but i like it full of lore, And the expressions for all character i say is very good, and the animation on the end of the demo, hell that was fire and i hope in the future we have that cg animation again that was very cooooool.
Beside that Anoam expression is remind me to william from TSR and somehow for the first time i see him idk he look cool and sweet, i hope this game can go to final chapter and the quality of the game become more good
(srry if my english bad because english is not my main language)
Happy to hear that you enjoyed Anoam, he's a special one
Amazing art and world building. Love all of the facial expressions and body language. The animated cut scene to the VN title at the end is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing your talent with us.
Yesss, those animated scenes are a lot of fun to do, expect more of them!
Absolutely amazing! What a great start! Professional quality and the most beautiful artworks I have ever seen in FVN. (Kirik is so gorgeous!) Best of luck! :D
Kirik is indeed a pretty lad, glad you think so too!
God this is absolutely increible, I'm SO excited for more of this to be released! Keep up the incredible work <3
Thanks! I'm keepin' at it
Dude I have to say, this is one of the most beautifully drawn and written vn i've seen so far, the world building is fantastic and so easy to digest despite being so heavy in lore and information, the way the characters talk and interact with each others is so natural and alive its been a blast to read, and the mc you gave us is just perfect in the way he's not a blank canvas at all, its a breath of fresh air for the usual transparent and "lifeless" mcs I've seen so far, he has depth and character which I just love!
I can't wait to see more of your fantastic work and the lore you have in stock for us, especially when its heavily inspired by celtic lore in terms of customs and spiritualism!
Thank you for the review Iraelo! I'm glad you enjoy how the game is shaping up so far. I'm really excited to share more
MC looks ugly af. Who will want to play as this neckbeard?
The MC looks fine to me.
For all of us !!
Ya all just brainwashed by the woke mind virus that states ugly is beautiful now. Not surprised.
why are you getting so worked up? so strange it almost feels like bait
You've revealed the secret agenda of this whole project, well done sir
We need an android version of this beautiful game to further spread the agenda :3
I'm not woke and I think the MC looks ok. Not all gay people are femboys. Some, unfortunately, even look like you. I meant on the inside...
How being manly and ugly is woke?
I tought that theory was all about over feminizing men (cuz a delicate man can still look manly and use a GUN) and stuff, relax, we love ourselves and love what we are, men, simply men
MC look good, make me wonder how he looks like when he shift
me I wanna play as this neckbeard.
Thou has bad taste
He sexy AF, wTFdym?
He's okay honestly. I'm crazy about him, but he looks good enough. Muscular, masculine, it fits. Makes more sense than some overly gay twink type.
Only human character that threw me off so far was Amia, but hey, at least she's not the MC.
Amazing demo
Thanks RK!
sooo, uuuh i don't know how to say this, it's just gorgeous, i think i never seen something so gorgeous on the visual department this is setting new and higher standard jesus christ! also i like the hovering tooltip on "particular words" it makes the reading way smoother and doesnt require you to remember everything at least, the story so far seems interesting i surely see potential but its still too early to tell something else but i'm sure as hell keeping my eye on this.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Folvin, I'm glad you enjoy the tooltip feature!
love all the hunk dudes :p ;)
lorge
this is easily the most gorgeous fvn i have every seen and is simply amazing. like, this is already all ive ever wanted in a furry vn. also this is how you do wolves in a fvn!
as soon as i saw the animation style and the backgrounds, i immediately thought of the point and click adventure games i play (that usually end up having hidden object puzzles) like nightmare realm.
and now i have to make a moontouched version of myself XD
High praise! Thank you for giving the demo a go and sharing your thoughts. I'd love to see your Moontouched lad when you get around to it!
Android version?
In the works!
The Android build just released!
This is the fastest I rated a game because I am so sure of what I have experienced. 5/5 stars.
The visuals are the best in any VN I have seen so far! Nothing comes close! An EXCELLENT JOB!!!
The writing is also top notch. It matches the quality of the visuals. I love the exposition! We barely started and I already feel part of that world!
If there is anything to criticize negatively on, it might be the slight overuse of descriptiveness; Lyrically, the extra clause spent describing some things (eg smell of a damp fire) creates a bump in the reading rhythm.
It's not to say you have Purple Prose or poor execution of Thisness, The added descriptions does serve a higher purpose with immersions and shouldn't be cut, but when I compare it to this:
The scene opens to wind whipping flurries of fresh snow in a dark, kinetic, forest, with the first text that reads "When brought to the eroding edge, most cower in awe of its expanse. Brought to their knees by its pinning and left to flee back to the surface, where the hunger is but a whisper".
When I imagine wind, the air as it brushes snow, and sounds of bending and creaking wood, I hear it in the words of the opening scene. Soft plosive sounds and gentle cracking and creaking...
"when brought... cower... knees... pinning... left to flee... back.... surface, where hunger.... whisper" You can see what I mean by the soft plosives resembling the sound of wind, and even creaking wood with the word "pinning" and its long N sound.
I have no idea if it was intentional or not, but I tip my hat to you!
You should use sound and lyrical devices more often, especially when ruining the rhythm to describing certain things with the extra clause. Your writer has the talent for it, I am sure. And even then... You don't have to listen to me. It's still wonderful work regardless of my nitpickiness.
Let's see what else... I've noticed you put some good flaws and are already setting up multiple conflicts already. I'm sure we're ready to see what happens with the monsters, if the MC is ready, but I am very glad Anoam is making a journey to face his fears. I can see how he coddles the MC a bit too much eg lending the MC his own clothes to warm up. Like I said before, your exposition of showing and not telling is remarkable and I am already invested in his growth.
The tooltip regarding lore/worldbuilding is also neat, even if others may think it ruins the exposition. It is better than leaving us confused. It certainly cleared a lot up when meeting the Matriarch and our friend Ki. Please don't remove it or feel the need to add more info, it tells us just enough without ruining the mystery. Thank you for coding it in!!!
Some of the text is too small though, and I have a large monitor... Mind taking another look at that one scene?
Thank you for such a thoughtful review and for the constructive feedback. Most of my writing has been poetry, so adapting to writing novel has been a fun challenge. Thank you for the suggestions, I'll take them to heart! My editor is exceptionally skilled haha
If you're referring to the size of the text as the MC describes a specific vine, that was intended to be the text droning out and the MC not really playing close attention to it!
I had a feeling! Poetry is my main calling as well. You're doing everything right, so don't sweat it! (I just realized you're a one-man studio after writing my previous comment. I am so impressed! And a little ashamed to dare criticize? But we only have 1 life, and I am sure none of us want to live with regrets, so I'll speak my mind XD).
There are a lot of guidelines out there to help people write well, some of which are incompatible with each other, so you have to take any and all advice you hear with a grain of salt. I've a foundation with poetry which helps me when I construct my own fiction writing.
I try to score myself on cadence, rhythm, syllable stresses, assonance/consonance, imagery, thisness, subtext, exposition, foreshadowing...etc Some attributes are poetic, some are for a satisfying 2nd reading. If a sentence doesn't help with my story I just rip it out and write something that will. Unfortunately a perfect score is impossible; you have to just deal with lowering the quality of one or more of these attributes to raise the others.
I will show you what I meant in my previous comment about some descriptions.
"I happily chew at the bread, the smoke of the now-doused fire at the heart of our little encampment fluttering between us".
Smoke, now-doused. -- Really great use of assonance. It just glides right off the tongue and is very easy and pleasant to read.
Imagery is really nice, and I think the varied length of the words also add rustic charm.
The rhythm of that sentence is off though, like a palpitating heart. It was the first thing that I could point to and criticize, and it came after quite a while of reading perfection. Try tapping your finger for all the syllables you read and speak the capitalized syllables a little louder, they will be the stressed ones:
"to BE or NOT to BE, that IS the QUESTion"
"I chew on the crust of the bread as the smoke from the doused fire floats in the chill of our quiet camp".
"I CHEW on the CRUST of the BREAD as the SMOKE from the DOUSED FIRE FLOATS in the CHILL of our QUIET CAMP".
Imagery remains, we add a detail about the bread (though it might even be moldy if they've been walking for weeks XD) we get some consonance that also mimics the sound of crunching on a crust of bread. We keep your beautiful assonance while adding a little more to it.
I doubt there is any more we can do to spruce that sentence up. But like I said, we lose some things... All these words are short, no more than 6 letters.... A variety of length can go a long way in keeping things interesting for the eyes and mind. This version is like a lullaby. Pleasant to the ear, but might put the readers to sleep if that's all you give them. And I am sure you already have an eager audience waiting impatiently for the next build... You can't be nitpicky with absolutely everything. So far these out-of-rhythm sentences are few and far between. Otherwise everything is just -MUAH, perfection!!!
I know the smaller font size it was intended, but it is just a little too small. Had to lean in to read it. If we're talking about breaking the 4th wall, this makes us pay more attention rather than less. I think reducing the transparency might be a better option, right? Just a thought.
I wish I had a time machine to see this game in full.
This is exactly the set & setting I would love to explore.
So carefully crafted.
Sometimes I wonder, had it not been the inquisition, would we still have traditions similar to the world you've shared.
yes i just want to wrestle hot dudes under the moon without paying $10k for ayahuasca tripI would love to be able to snap my fingers and see the project finished up, it would be wild to see. I definitely like to imagine a world with a more unashamed sense of sexuality.
(As response to patreon post) - Patreon is probably your safer bet, it's a true and tested method for FVNs. Kickstarters are mostly used to fund copium like.. indie mmos that never get released. 20y old furries won't fund FVNs they will see in 5 years.. maybe. That's for desperate old school gamers and mmorpgs lol.
I think at best you could attempt to do a small kickstarter to secure funds for the first few months of the development.. Setting a reachable goal like 3000$ maybe.. But that would look bad if it fails so why not do a patreon goal instead? If you reach 1500$ on patreon, you'll.. Do something! Like release this year, idk
Thank you for your feedback on this! I've decided to stick to the tried and true Patreon model!
Moontouched is promising to say the least.
The animated CGs are stunning with their fluffy tails flapping behind them and their ears moving adding so much life to the story. Also, the postures and the fact that when you say they remove their clothes, they really remove them on the CG, that's impressive, really.
The backgrounds are absolutely gorgeous, so realistic even in drawing and the color palettes are so comforting, very nuanced and alive. It seems like we are ourselves roaming the woods, and we were witnessing the beauty of nature. The nature sounds in the background add to that feeling. That's really appeasing.
The writing is good, even if I spotted a few typos, but nothing too bad. The only issue I have is with the size of the font that is too small and so hard to read on a PC, but worse is the size of the Tooltip that is even smaller, so I have to strain my eyes to read so that's really uncomfortable and doesn't really motivate to read hours upon hours like this.
At first, I was quite disappointed that the demo didn't include the other romance-able characters bur fortunately, a presentation of them was offered at the end of the demo, which I am grateful for because I was so eager to meet them.
So we have 5 male wolves from different clans :
- Anoam : The Forsaken, our mentor and savior sort of, loyal, protective and a bit secretive too.
- Kirik : Friend and lover, a pup like us, a "brother" or playmate and probably our first sexual partner, a recently Moontouched. He's literally the most beautiful wolf I have ever seen with his "markings" on his forehead and his arms and chest.
- Veolf : Tribute of Storms said to be "cocky and lighthearted while at rest, loyal and ruthless when called upon". Well, he has the type of personality I am totally crazy about, so he will definitely be my first choice. Plus he has a piercing, how cool is that! A shame he isn't as beautiful as Kirik in wolf form...
- Raithan : Tribute of Tides, too kind and tasteless for my liking according to his personality description, but to each their own like they say.
- Noakai : Tribute of Flames, he's all ferocity and anger so a hard shell to crack but can be promising...
All in all, I really enjoyed that demo, I wished for more because the lore is still a bit vague with all the clans and their history, but that's off to an excellent start. And the visuals are a wonder with sometimes first person or third-person POV depicted on the CGs and the angles are sometimes very fascinating, I quite enjoyed that part.
Thank you so much for sharing this new game with us, I wish with all my heart that it will be achieved. And big up to the one who drew the landscapes and the animated wolves! Stunning!
The Bro, Megane, Daddy, Tsundere and the Bad boy. Amen
Joking. I'm sure they'll get more dimensional when we actually meet them. So far met 2 and like both of them..
Hah that's the line-up alright!
Thank you for such a robust review! I appreciate you giving a glimpse of the main 5 lads here for people to check out. I'm really glad you enjoyed your time with it Talyndra. Awooo
Visually: Stunning and awe inspiring
Writing: Well done
Characterization: Still too early to tell, but so far each character has individuality
Effects: tastefully done, adding wow factors to already master-work CGs... Could use a bit more variation in the effects, otherwise well placed
This seems to be the kind of VN that smashes through and will catch everyone's attention, even if personal tastes and what not may not align with the work. I have a feeling as this develops, it is going to be a talking point and reference for a lot of new VNs to come out in the future
9.5/10 (super impressive since its only a short demo) it is clear a lot of love was put into this VN
Thanks for the thoughtful review ZenerDeer, covered all the basics. I'm curious about what you mean by "more variation in effects", if you feel like sharing more!
!!!!!! POTENTIAL SCENE/CG SPOILER AHEAD !!!!
The warning has been given~
Being that this is a first build, and that I am sure you are still working with the effects and such, I did not mean what I said in a bad way at all! (just making sure what I've said and what I am saying isn't coming from a mean critique point <3)
The effects that you have used so far have almost solely been the "ripple/ water droplet" effect with some minor variations such as a "sparkle glow" side effect added. Which are really well place and very powerful in their own right! But what I meant by "more variation in effects" was using a different main effect:
For example; and while it is just a suggestion feel free to ignore or steal from me,, when the fox appears, and the ripple effect shows the woman standing next to the fox, perhaps instead of a ripple, a light-ray transition starting from from the top "blinding" the viewer before dimming and revealing the woman, or perhaps because its in a forest, a leaf-gust transition (or even dirt, as POV is the MC on the ground... so his exhale could possibly disturb the dirt) where the gust causes the POV to lose sight for a moment because of leaves or because of a blink... Or even a ghostly apparition where the woman melds into the scene with ethereal styling...
I do not know the program that you use to create your transitions, and I am but a beginner with art in general myself, so my ideas come from what some of my friends have done with personal (non-furry) projects... So I am unaware of your technical skill with your programs, their limitations, and your experience/knowledge with all of the above. I do however hope this cleared up my comment, and was helpful in one-way or another
Also: I would like to apologize for the late reply, I have been attending the DENFUR con, and haven't been checking itch T.T
(and because I feel I need to, I would like to re-iterate that my comments/critique/suggestions are coming with the hope of being helpful, and not meant to be interpreted in a negative way! <3)
Frankly incredible I didn't expect to fall and discover a VN as animated and detailed as possible it's incredible I didn't expect that especially the sprites the animation of the characters/environment which are fluid and the menu which is animated and stylized with a background that is beautiful and the writing was really good you are a real writer the characters nothing to say Moontouched is the most detailed and animated VN of all the VNs combining world building this is the VN the most unique thing I've ever seen it was a great experience for a demo
I can't wait to discover more in this world, it's really promising
(PS I have 2 little favorites :D)
Glad you liked your time with it Puromaru, more to come!
This looks amazing already, well done!
Thanks TommyCat!
This is simply a work of art in every sense!! Completely in love with every tiny detail 😍😍
Very kind of you to say, glad you enjoyed it!
Been following its progress for a bit, im excited and horny.
Honest too
That's the perfect combination to be for what's to come >:)
The art is incredible, and so far the writing is very very good. I can't wait to see where this goes and I will definitely join the Patreon when funds allow!
Thanks Vines, any little bit helps a ton!
OMG what's this game? Never heard of it, is it new? It looks unreal!
BOOM take my werewolf lore and smut!
ur so talented it's insane, thank u so much for creating this game <3
Doh thank you for the kind words!
Omg, it's happening, it's happening IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING! 😤😵💫🤩🥰❤️
At laaaassst
Here after playing through the demo. Blown away by the worldbuilding that you've done so far, it feels incredibly fleshed out, and also by the amount of detail and general quality that everything has in general, from the writing to the animations/sprites etc...
Can't wait to see more! Looks so so promising =D
Thanks Nollel, more in the works!
how many words does the demo have?
Roughly 11.2k words
thaaaanks!
How big is this going to be exactly ?
Somewhere between 10-13 chapters, depending on how much I want to explore certain moments
Haven't played it yet and I already know I want the wolf on the far right. Badly
but far left tho....
haha the big boys Anoam and Noakai seem to be popular
People have good taste then!
Top dog marks across the board! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I’m absolutely BLOWN AWAY by the insane amount of detail and work put into every aspect of this VN! 😁
The writing is really poetic and extremely well done. I’m a huge fan of using keywords to set up emotions or themes, and the way xou’ve written this story is absolutely phenomenal 😌
I’d also like to applaud how well xou’ve explained the lore. In no way do the many new words or phrases become confusing, which in itself is a major achievement 🙂
The art is FANTASTIC, the interface amazing, and the pacing so freaking well done (even though we’ve barely touched the surface) 😋
Superb work. Seriously. I can easily see this project taking the top spot as my all-time favourite VN 😁
Aye thanks a ton for this feedback Phamyne, it's incredibly inspiring to me to know that people are enjoying it. I can't wait to push it even further!